The Joys of Fake Tourism

Okey, I know this is supposed to be a travel blog, but I think it is appropriate to include fake tour destinations, especially when the fake tour is actually bringing in tourists and money. Actually the article about it in today's NY Times made me actually want to call my travel agent and go. And the article, "Battle Royal Lingers Over Head of State for a Czech State of Mind" is hysterical. (Page A7)
It all started as a joke when a local photographer (Tomas Harabis) in Frenstat in the Czech Republic made up a fake kingdom which he called the Kingdom of Wallachia. Wallachia happens to be a real place in the northeast corner of the Czech Republic, 230 miles from Prague.
According to the NY Times article the fake kingdom has..."the requisites of authentic statehood, including a currency called the jurovaslar; consulates in the Arctic Circle and Togo; a Royal Wallachian Navy consisting of 40 wooden canoes; a bright yellow Communist-era limousine for use by visiting dignitaries; and a burgundy passport, covered with a picture of the pagan god Radegast, that Mr. Harabis says he has used to cross the border from Canada to Alaska."
When Mr Harabis decided to crown a local TV actor ( Bolek Polivka) as the new
King of Wallachia in 2000, the formal coronation was televised nationally and attended by 5,000 guests.
As the photo shows, visitors come to the region "partly because of the region's
status as an imaginary kingdom." It is also earning income from the sale of passports for the kingdom.
What started as a joke has evolved into a major lawsuit because of the large income generated by the imaginary kingdom!
A second fake travel income generator is the very funny spoof on travel guides; the Jetlag series from Woodstock at www.overlookpress.com. My favorite is "Molvania: A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry," but there are at least 6 others including the very popular "Getting Around the Tofu Islands, South East Asia's Forgotten Jewel," and Surviving Moustaschistan, Central Asia's Forgotten Jewel."
In this time of severe economic problems, what could be better and cheaper than a fake tour?

Searching for Val Kilmer (Santa Fe)

The first question from Eduardo (gorgeous hair stylist extraordinaire) was "why?" when I told him about my quest to to find the 60,000 acre Val Kilmer ranch.
It started on a morning over-fueled by coffee. Despite my well organized list of errands, I found myself driving into the Candyland shopping center on St. Michael's. Candyland is appropriately named as it sells new and used high-end stereo equipment, as well as an eclectic and international selection of CDs and DVDs.
There, on the counter, was an autographed CD by Val Kilmer.
"Val Kilmer has a CD?" I asked the clerk. I remembered the actor as the Iceman, Tom Cruise's buddy in "Top Gun," Jim Morrison in "The Doors," and Batman in "Batman Forever" - but a CD?
The clerk convinced me it was good and that Val comes in from time to time from his ranch in Galisteo, just outside of Santa Fe.
I bought the CD and an adventure began.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

With Val Kilmer's new CD playing in the background, I went through guidebooks and maps to plot my course to Galisteo. The music and Val's voice are excellent, although the lyrics are a tad obscure.
The trip to Galisteo was extraordinary. Route 25 runs almost east to west around the southern border of Santa Fe. Go west and it turns to go south to Albuquerque, about 40 miutes away. Turn east on Rt 25 and it goes toward Las Vegas (NM) and Patrick Swaize's ranch, about 40 minutes away. I drove east and 30 minutes later, turned south onto US 285.
The view changed dramatically into breathtaking surreal sculpted landscape. You would need the granddaddy of all panoramic cameras to capture a fraction of its' beauty. I finally understand why so many photobooks and landscape paintings of New Mexico are of enormous panoramic views. It's the closest you can come to capturing the actual experience.
Only 30 minutes from Santa Fe and it is like visiting another planet.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

You have to be alert to see the turn-off to Galisteo on NM 41 south and then it's a short drive into the town(?) itself. You see the church first and a few scattered buildings. Passing them I realized that I had already left Galisteo.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

I went back and explored every street and dirt path I could find, including a one lane wooden bridge.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

In total, I found less than 20 buildings in Galisteo, including the church and several small ranches.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

The description of Galisteo in Fodor's travel guide included a spa/ranch that costs $250 a night (Vista Clara Ranch) and a gourmet restaurant (LaMancha) in an inn (The Galisteo Inn) located in a quaint historic building. I found none of these.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

Eduardo later described a wiccan gift shop and a sculpture gallery and garden owned by one of his customers. I found the garden, but not the shop.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

The buildings that I found were all ancient looking adobe that were made from the ruins of the original adobe houses before the town was deserted. Galisteo is being reborn from the ruins of its original inhabitants.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

After an hour of searching I found my first human - another Santa Fean out exploring and taking pictures. When I mentioned my Val Kilmer quest her first response was "Why?" She was better than Fodors with her local knowledge and insider's perspective on the politics involving Val Kilmer. In short, she said (1) Mr. Kilmer lives in Pecos, not Galisteo, (2) Pacos is basically the descendents of the original Pueblo Indians and Spanish who settled there and they aren't fond of Mr. Kilmer, (3) Mr. Kilmer is a good friend of our present governor Bill Richardson (the same one who had to decline President Obama's cabinet offer because of potential shady dealings) and (4) Governor Richardson is encouraging Mr. Kilmer to run for governor. I've left out all her editorial comments that colored these comments.

Searching for Val Kilmer

The kind stranger recommended that I see the Galisteo graveyard and then take an unmapped route that cuts across from Galisteo (Rt 41) to Rt 14 and the picturesque mining towns turned art colonies of Madrid and Los Cerillos.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galisteo)

The Galisteo graveyard was eerie, with its ancient wooden crosses and headstones, over-grown with neon yellow weeds; haunting in the truest sense of the word.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Galesteo)

Leaving the graveyard, the road became a dirt path, and several miles in, a stone wall and large standing stone slab caught me by surprise. It was like a miniature version of our own Stonehenge. When the bumpy path finally dumped me onto Rt 14, I opted to go north, back to Santa Fe rather than south to Madrid and Los Cerilloss. In addition to the art and history of these two southern towns, they are supposed to be enclaves of Wiccans, the neopagan based religion, and that deserves its own trip!

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

Another beautiful day found me back on Rt 25 heading toward Los Vegas (NM) and 30 minutes later I took the exit to Pecos. The town is much larger than Galisteo and seems to consist of small houses, log cabins, A-frames, trailers, and dusty ancient general stores. I saw a Dairy Queen, several restaurants, a logging place, and several places selling natural gas. Pecos has more of an alpine feel with mountains, the Pecos River, and Monastary Lake. Hiking, hunting, and fishing are big.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

Fishing on the Pecos River.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

Exploring, I was almost trapped following a dirt path called Lower Cow Creek Trail. It was actually a one lane road that wound UP the mountain with almost no place to turn around. The mud hitting the underside of the car was my signal to turn around.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

The view of Pecos from the mountain via Lower Cow Creek Trail.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

I found an actual Benedictine Monastary not far from Monastary Lake and people catching fish in the Pecos River (the same river that runs across Mr. Kilmer's ranch).

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

I also found a place that sells yurts (in case he needs one). Actually I read that he had an architect design an impressive tree house for him on his ranch so I'm guessing that he won't need a yurt.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

I met several of the locals in one of the ancient general stores and over dinner at Riveras (excellent carnitos and service), but lost the nerve to ask about Mr. Kilmer, given what I heard from the stranger in Galesteo.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Pecos)

The highlight of the Pecos trip had to be the Pecos National Historic Park with the remnants of a 600 year old Pueblo. It was originally a quadrangle of more than 600 rooms, 4-5 stories high, that housed a village of about 2,000 people. It is an archeological goldmine with much of the foundation of the Pueblo and large portions of the churches built by the invading Spaniards in 1625 and later replaced in 1717. The ruins are at the top of a 7,000 ft mountain that is windswept and eerily quiet. The few tourists there with me didn't speak the entire time we were there. The place commands reverence.

Searching for Val Kilmer (Back in Santa Fe)

What began as an excuse for an adventure now turned into a computer search project. I needed some proof that Val Kilmer actually lived in Pecos, just so that I could let it go. I found that not only does he live there, you can actually go fishing on his ranch (for a fee of course). There is a website advertising the trip ( www.thepecosriverranch.com) as well as DIRECTIONS TO VAL KILMER'S RANCH!
The computer search painted Mr. Kilmer in a different light than the older tabloid picture of an eccentric but talented actor. Through his work with the New Mexico Film Investment Program, he is credited with increasing state revenues from movie making in New Mexico 40 fold, from $3 million in 2002 to $117 million in 2006. If you have seen a western, it was probably made in New Mexico, (e.g., 3:10 to Yuma, The Missing, Young Guns, Lonesome Dove, City Slickers, Brokeback Mountain, and the TV series Gunsmoke among others). The list is over 4 pages long and as I write, The Book of Eli is about to be filmed with potential Denzel Washington sightings in town.
With the search for Val Kilmer ended, it is time to think seriously about skiing at Ski Santa Fe. Until then, Happy Trails from Ramblin Me.